On this third Father’s Day without Daddy seated on the couch, Pretty Kitty on his lap, I felt compelled to remember our last Father’s Day together. This is the blog from that day:
Tools of the Trade
The fact that my Father’s Day blog, will begin with a story about Mom
should be no surprise to anyone who knows the situation.
Yes, today we had our traditional family gathering and yes
the traditional casts of characters were in the house.
Parents, children, grandchildren, photos of a great grandchild, and non-related relatives.
Just about the time we started circling the black beans and rice, Mom started talking about her upcoming class at Home Depot, the class traditionally taken by 78 year old Wonder Women: the“How to Tune-Up your Lawn Mower” class.
Mind you she wasn’t bragging, nor did she see this two hour lesson as an odd choice,
after all she was the lawn service for much of the past sixty years.
Dad, he wouldn’t recognize the mower without a formal introduction.
The same could be said about most tools, most plumbing, most car mechanics, and any other traditional Father related task.
“I’m just happy that he learned how to put gas in his car!” she would tease.
She’s so right.
I’ve been thinking about the ‘Father/Man of the House’ chores we saw him do as a child.
Tools…No So Much!
Couldn’t fix a toy. Didn’t do yard work. If a pet was ill or a car made a funny sound he called the family repairman: GRACE!!!!!!
Daddy worked two jobs for as long as I remembered, but on the occasional Monday night off,he would take one of us and a friend to Morrison’s Cafeteria and a dime store to buy a trinket.
If we had a to stay home from school, because we were a little under the weather, he would take us to Krispy Crème and let us pick out the donut with candy sprinkles and our own tiny bottle of Welch’s grape juice.
He rarely if ever, spoke unkindly about someone.
She’s so right.
I’ve been thinking about the ‘Father/Man of the House’ chores we saw him do as a child.
Tools…No So Much!
Couldn’t fix a toy. Didn’t do yard work. If a pet was ill or a car made a funny sound he called the family repairman: GRACE!!!!!!
Daddy worked two jobs for as long as I remembered, but on the occasional Monday night off,he would take one of us and a friend to Morrison’s Cafeteria and a dime store to buy a trinket.
If we had a to stay home from school, because we were a little under the weather, he would take us to Krispy Crème and let us pick out the donut with candy sprinkles and our own tiny bottle of Welch’s grape juice.
He rarely if ever, spoke unkindly about someone.
(The media is his only exclusion)
He apologized if some unbecoming event was part of an old story or tale.
It wasn’t moral to speak disrespectfully about another; even if it was true!
He called his Father “Sir” and loves his wife and children more than he can express.
He buys dark chocolate candy bars for Patricia.
And worries if Ed, from the coffeehouse, hasn’t been in for a couple of days.
For years, he would sneak crème puffs in the house and quietly put them on the table,
for Mom’s Mother to find when she got up from her afternoon nap.
We watched him mourn the death of his Mother with tears hidden behind bent sunglasses, so as not to upset anyone with his sadness.
He walked three girls down the aisle and returned with sons, not sons in law.
He demonstrated untiring loyalty in the hours he worked to feed and clothe us.
Though not always approving of our choices or politics or situations; he made it clear that he would always be close by.
His refusal to refuse us almost anything has made his life difficult at times,
but not nearly as difficult as telling us no.
Mind you, the us might be his children, his grandchildren, a friend indeed, a stranger in need.
Stray cats, stray birds, stray kids.
He is deeply grateful for the kindness of others and cannot control his emotions when thanking them, because it is a thank you that originates in his heart, not his head!
And today on Father’s Day he reveled in the house overflowing with family, his family. And we gloried, in between arguing and really loud discussing, in Daddy’s special day.
I hope his ten grandsons :
Charles III , Domenic IV , Anthony, Lawrence III , Maxwell, Zachary, Dylan, Kyle, and even Cedric and Casey pay close attention the Master Craftsman their Grandfather is.
The way he wields the tools of commitment.
The non-negotiable tools of Fatherhood that never dull or rust thin.
Morality, the tape he uses to measure right and wrong, regardless of the decade or decision.
Loyalty the hammer and nails he uses to build and raise a family.
Tradition, the saw he uses to carve an old world family out of a modern society.
Love, the cement that adheres us together. All together. Always together.
Daddy will not be joining Mom at Home Depot to learn how to sharpen the lawnmower blades, and if there is ever a class on Fatherhood at Home Depot, he won’t need to attend either.
Daddy already has all the tools of the trade, and he truly knows how to use them.
Hey Husband, how lucky for our boys that you have both heart and garage filled with tools!
He apologized if some unbecoming event was part of an old story or tale.
It wasn’t moral to speak disrespectfully about another; even if it was true!
He called his Father “Sir” and loves his wife and children more than he can express.
He buys dark chocolate candy bars for Patricia.
And worries if Ed, from the coffeehouse, hasn’t been in for a couple of days.
For years, he would sneak crème puffs in the house and quietly put them on the table,
for Mom’s Mother to find when she got up from her afternoon nap.
We watched him mourn the death of his Mother with tears hidden behind bent sunglasses, so as not to upset anyone with his sadness.
He walked three girls down the aisle and returned with sons, not sons in law.
He demonstrated untiring loyalty in the hours he worked to feed and clothe us.
Though not always approving of our choices or politics or situations; he made it clear that he would always be close by.
His refusal to refuse us almost anything has made his life difficult at times,
but not nearly as difficult as telling us no.
Mind you, the us might be his children, his grandchildren, a friend indeed, a stranger in need.
Stray cats, stray birds, stray kids.
He is deeply grateful for the kindness of others and cannot control his emotions when thanking them, because it is a thank you that originates in his heart, not his head!
And today on Father’s Day he reveled in the house overflowing with family, his family. And we gloried, in between arguing and really loud discussing, in Daddy’s special day.
I hope his ten grandsons :
Charles III , Domenic IV , Anthony, Lawrence III , Maxwell, Zachary, Dylan, Kyle, and even Cedric and Casey pay close attention the Master Craftsman their Grandfather is.
The way he wields the tools of commitment.
The non-negotiable tools of Fatherhood that never dull or rust thin.
Morality, the tape he uses to measure right and wrong, regardless of the decade or decision.
Loyalty the hammer and nails he uses to build and raise a family.
Tradition, the saw he uses to carve an old world family out of a modern society.
Love, the cement that adheres us together. All together. Always together.
Daddy will not be joining Mom at Home Depot to learn how to sharpen the lawnmower blades, and if there is ever a class on Fatherhood at Home Depot, he won’t need to attend either.
Daddy already has all the tools of the trade, and he truly knows how to use them.
Hey Husband, how lucky for our boys that you have both heart and garage filled with tools!
